LA Comic Keith Reza Interviews Craig Rainey

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Bert's Tale of Booze - a Short Story by Craig Rainey

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Bert’s Tale of Booze  Bar-baby-an Excerpted from the novel Stolen Valor, A Carson Brand Novel. Bert is Carson Brand's best friend. He is known for his telling of the following tale during Rennaisance Festivals. A grey sky hovered low upon the wet roofs and bundled masses heaving along the streets of the village. Cloaks clung tightly around chilled shoulders. Peace tied swords weighed heavily, ankle bells tinkled with each step, and ponderous chain mail shifted and tinkled with their haste. The scarred double doors of the great hall resisted the large crowd entering to receive a small amount of warmth and a large amount of ale or Meade. At the center of the roiling throng stood a large bearded man in stiff leathers, broad gauntlets and grieves. His arms spread dramatically as his deep voice boomed. All present knew of him and his tale. No matter the frequency of the telling, his ode was welcomed as a mainstay of the festival. “Settle in with me now.   Join m...
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COVID 19 = Death? Who is Doing the Math?

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Please think critically. Question the Math I am learning that America is populated by people who lack basic math skills. Combine that with a preponderance of people with no desire to think critically and you have COVID 19 = Death. June 26, 2020 Austin, TX - Austin Mayor Steve Adler (Addled) is in full panic mode now that the doom and gloom medical authorities have announced that not only are we in a second wave of the virus, it is worse than they had anticipated. He is closing the bars and rolling back restaurants to a 50% capacity. This spells doom for Austin businesses. Austin is only one city of the hundreds who are led by politicians with more than their fair share of ignorance, and the knack for acting spontaneously upon inaccurate information. When the COVID 19 virus became synonymous with death, it handed down a verdict of death to the US economy. Whether you call it the Wuhan Virus, Corona Virus, or COVID 19 virus, it has yet to kill anyone. Many with t...
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Short Story: As Much Fun as a Barrel of Monkeys, by Craig Rainey

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Short Story: As Much Fun as a Barrel of Monkeys  by Craig Rainey He gained consciousness in the familiar confines of his apartment. He knew it was his apartment only because he could see the banister to his bedroom loft and the burgundy accent wall above him. But that was where the familiarity ended. He pulled himself to his feet. "Ow!" He played gingerly at the tender spot on the top of his head: a spot covered by hair, matted with dried blood - apparently his own. Because opening his eyes caused him pain, he squinted through narrowly separated eyelids at his surroundings. He groaned at the sight of one of his home theater speakers poking out of the screen of his 72” 4k television. His green leather sofa, loveseat, and lounger were in turn, toppled, ripped and... "What the hell is that?" he muttered, spitting out small strands of hair…or fur. As he got closer to the sofa, he identified the smeared matter on the leather upholstery as feces. Upon clo...
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